Our Digital Shoebox

Bumpy Roads

2012-02-10T07:18:00.007-05:00

As usual, no blog posts for a couple of weeks means that things have gotten a little bit hectic for our household. Things have picked up at work, everyone at home has taken their turn at being sick (Jasmine won the grand prize with a staph infection that took 3 weeks to subside), and mommy is about to get a stretch of I-26 named after her to commemorate her consecutive weekend passages to Greenville and back. Nothing major. Just the typical turbulence we all hit every now and then as life takes flight. Fasten your seat beats and adjust your tray tables. My hope is that we'll be coming in for a landing sooner than later.

Imagination: Jasmine decided that Tasha's legs made a great seatbelt.

And there's no better steering wheel than a yellow plastic spatula.

Will Power

2012-01-28T21:53:00.001-05:00

8 rolls, 2 wiggles, and a stretch.

Naomi VII

2012-01-28T21:15:00.016-05:00

Here's what we wrote about Jasmine Olivia @ 5 months old:

She doesn't eat all that well during the day because she's too
easily distracted (she'll stop eating if she hears a fly in the next
room rubbing his wings together)... but she'll chug a 5 oz bottle with
her eyes closed in the middle of the night without waking up..

Even with these small things it's funny to see how much things don't change from one child to the next; as Naomi has suddenly developed the same nosey neighbor syndrome when it's time to chug a bottle. And she has finally made the jump from 3 ounces to 5. In terms of other notables with Naomi @ 5 months, she...

tries to grab everything (but not nearly at the same level as Thing 1 and 2)
will sleep from 8 til 6:30 on a good night... usually with a 10 minute intermission for a bottle... but sometimes not
seems to be having a little more separation anxiety at this age than I remember for the others... but then she's used to more people in the house; so maybe that should be expected.
reaped the "benefits" of a single day on formula (i.e., constipation)... but is happily back to the breast milk regime
has graduated to baby food and a high chair
has found first gear on her walker (by 4 months, Jasmine was already in 5th gear... but more on that in a minute)
and rolls over in both directions

Here's a little more detail about those last 3 points:

New Company & Solid Foods
We broke out the high chair at the 5-month mark and presented her with her first non-breastmilk experience: a small bowl of rice cereal and a piece of chocolate cake. Okay, so mommy vetoed the chocolate cake... but, in keeping with her reputation as the easy baby, she ate the rice cereal like a champion. In fact, I'd say that she ate it with a little bit of an attitude; as if to say, "ya'll should've started feeding me solids a long time ago." So now, with her high chair pulled up, we're officially a family of 5 at the dinner table... which I think is kinda cool.

First Gear
So one night I turned to Venesa and said, you know, I hate to be so comparative with the kids, but Naomi doesn't seem to be as active as Justin & Jasmine were at this age. And so a conversation ensued and led us to revisit our trusty blog. Rewind 2 years, and boom, there was Jasmine at 4 months... doing donuts like a NASCAR champion ... And as we brainstormed about why Naomi wasn't even moving in the walker [can't be the walker, it's same one jasmine had... can't be the floors... can't be her height, she's the longest of all 3 kids... is she too chubby?... ] Yep, I was ready to sign her up for special ed... until it hit us: check the height setting! Long story short, we owe her an apology on this one: we set her up for failure, and then had the nerve to talk about her. And so we knocked the setting down a notch and 5 seconds later she scooted across the floor waving her hands like a healed person at a Benny Hinn conference (I can walk!). Sorry girl. I guess we owe you one.

Electric Slide
Yep, it's official: You can no longer put her on the floor somewhere and expect her to be there when you get back. The girl will string together 8 rolls and a wiggle, and be under the couch in the blink of an eye. I'll never forget the first time that Justin did that. I left and came back, and he was gone! He had never moved before and so I never thought to look around for him (as in just 4 feet away). I just about panicked was ready to call the police (for all of 3 seconds). Ahhhh... but I'm 3 kids wiser now. And while I was able to play it cool this time, I'm still able to appreciate it as a pretty significant milestone. Roll. Crawl. Pull up. And Walk. She'll be asking for the car keys before we know it. Check out the next entry for a photo sequence of her maneuvers.

Milestones XXXI

2012-01-27T07:07:00.012-05:00

Two things that are not exactly milestones in the usual sense of worthwhile achievements; but things that I nonetheless thought worth documenting simply for the sake of remembrance. In a word, our son has become... a junky.

1. Video Junky

Sometime in the past 3 months, Justin Alexander officially became addicted to video games. Being a boy, this one was probably inevitable; but I thought we had more time before we'd be prying him away from a computer kicking and screaming, begging for 5 more minutes ("but I only have one more level!")... Ahhh... Flashbacks. ColecoVision, 1981. Entire weekends of my life lost to the realm of Donkey Kong and Mouse Trap. Band-Aids secured over joystick blisters. Some of my fondest memories. And here we are... 30 years later (ugh!)... and despite the absence of a Wii, Playstation or an Xbox in the house... our young jedi has found his way. May the force be with him.

From the old...

to the new.

2. Spider-man Junky

Moving to Hartsville has also translated into Justin being unconditionally hooked on one cartoon: Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends. Yep, thanks to the good people at Netflix (and also thanks to our lack of cable tv and lack of reception) this classic is now a staple in the cartoon rotation. Funny enough, it's also another throwback to 1981. Just like with the video games, my amusement probably has less to do with Justin and more to do with my own nostalgia. At 6 years old, this cartoon had me glued to the tube. And so it's amusing to see that, 3 decades later, it is still equally potent as a toddler tranquilizer. There's nothing he'd rather watch (though I think Jasmine Olivia could do without it... she calls Spidy a "bad man"). So while that's two more things that the 1st born and I have in common; he's still got me beat in one key category: I never graduated to custome status.

What's the largest size they sell? Maybe it's not too late.

Genesis

2012-01-24T20:07:00.014-05:00

With a handful of degrees between us and an obvious passion for education, we're theoretically prime candidates for homeschooling our children. But practically speaking, I still can't figure out how we got here. Venesa will be the first to tell you that my grand post-marriage plans included two incomes and a lavish annual vacation. But we followed the breadcrumbs and here we are. Hopefully in God's will for our family. Somewhat clueless, but excited for the potential.

The kids have already declared Co-op Monday as one of their favorite parts of Oakdale Academy (aka "mommy school"). Co-op is the once-a-week opportunity for homeschool kids across the city to come together and choose from a smorgasbord of classes that are offered each semester. You can take up to 4 or 5 classes, but two is plenty for our 2 preschoolers. Besides, even though they seem to enjoy it all, I've got a feeling that the classes themselves are nothing but bookends for the part of Co-op that they look forward to the most: Recess. 30 minutes of a few dozen little kids running around the gym, rolling basketballs over each other, and screaming incoherently at the top of their lungs. Actually, I personally haven't made it to Co-op yet... but that's how I picture recess and it makes for good writing; so I'm sticking with it.

Anyhow, pray for us. We need it for sure.

Welcome to Oakdale Academy.

Homebound

2012-01-22T15:18:00.012-05:00

Milestones XXX

As I've written before, moving to Hartsville 5 month ago meant that we'd have to sink or swim in the midst of a lot of transitional milestones: new house, new city and state, new job & church, new baby (Naomi came 5 days after we moved in) and a first-time school experience for Justin Alexander. Granted, the last item on the list was self-imposed, but we thought it would be a bright idea to send Justin and Jasmine to preschool for a semester or two in order to give Venesa the best opportunity to cope with a newborn in the midst of so much change. In the end, she hyperventilated over the thought of being left home without any kids, and so we decided to just send Justin.

Well... fast forward 5 months, and I am excited to say that (as of Dec 16) the preschool experiment has come to an end. And boy was it a journey. From over-the-top Halloween celebrations and Santa Claus confusion (there will be no fat man in the chimney for us), to bullying and discipline issues; it seemed like every week brought a different issue that made us revisit and question our ~~sanity~~ decision. In the end, I could write a book (or at least a really long pamphlet) about our not-so-virtuous experience with private preschool; but I suppose that I also have to balance that by giving credit where it's due: For one, we appreciated his teacher. As two educators ourselves, we know that we probably have many years ahead of us of being overly critical of our childrens' teachers. Yet, I can still easily say that we appreciated Ms. Denise's level of dedication to her students and her classroom.

In the column of pros, I should also point out that Justin had fun. He looked forward to it everyday and adapted better than we could have imagined. Lastly, he did learn a lot. While we can't say that they added a lot of academic value, there were lots of new experiences (new songs and games, school play, etc.) and plenty of non-academic lessons to be gleaned from his classroom and sandbox adventures (some of which I've written about here). But perhaps most important of all, the whole experience was akin to using a quality primer before the final paint job: It paved the way for our homeschool experience in more ways than one. It helped Justin learn firsthand the structure and purpose of school overall. And our constant observations at the more detailed level gave me and Venesa more ideas than we could count in terms of how to build and shape a school of our own. I guess you can say it was like an internship. Experience gained and a nice stepping stone for what's to come. From that perspective, I guess you can say it was successful after all.

Triple Helix

2012-01-14T18:25:00.006-05:00

(In reverse order) Justin, Jasmine & Naomi Janelle @ 4 months

Ain't life wonderful?

Circling The Sun

2012-01-14T06:52:00.007-05:00

Brownie Cake and Chuck E. Cheese... It must be daddy's birthday. 365 more days of life... and I'm happy to say that I took none of them for granted. Here's to the next 365 (plus one). Cheers.

Venesa surprised me with an early celebration in the midst of our New Year's Eve shindig, and so I had a crowd for a change (her fam and some friends) to help me devour my goodies. Goodies, I should mention, that were made off-premises and personally delivered by Lela herself... which explains why I didn't smell 'em cooking. You got me. Thanks again.

Man... that's a lot of candles.

Bosom Buddies

2012-01-13T09:05:00.001-05:00

The new year brings new acquaintances.

Twenty Twelve

2011-12-31T22:31:00.002-05:00

Here's to a most fantastic new year, from our family to yours. Happy 2012.

Christmas pt. III

2011-12-30T22:06:00.006-05:00

I guess you can say that Christmas is a bit of a process in our house. It took us a day just to have the kids open 2 gifts each (actually, 4 gifts if you include their grandparent selections). Then we unveiled the sandbox and that pretty much did it for the day. Rain and suddenly dropping temperatures (what happen to last week's bike riding weather?) made us postpone the grand finale for another 4 days... but yesterday we finally assembled and rolled out the trampoline. And suddenly naptime is no longer an issue (let 'em bounce til they drop!). You know, between the sandbox, the trampoline, and the basketball hoop that they'll open from Lela tomorrow; you'd think we don't want our kids in the house anymore. Outdoor gifts in the dead of winter. What kind of parents are you, anyway?!

Christmas pt. II

2011-12-30T21:55:00.011-05:00

The highlights: Jesus got some cupcakes, Lela came to visit, Daddy got a waffle maker, mommy got some boots, Naomi got a rattle, the whole family got a sand box, Justin got a robot that (despite being the only thing he asked for) I'm pretty certain he's a little scared of, and Jasmine got a medical kit that she has used on everyone in the house at least once. Evidently everyone is in good health... and we owe her a $25 co-pay each.

Christmas pt. I

2011-12-30T19:57:00.000-05:00

You know you own a big dog when, instead of chew toys and bones, you buy your dog... another dog for Christmas. Yep. Tasha got a mini me for Christmas. Here you go, girl. Have fun. Walk him twice a day, and try not to eat him by mistake.

Okay, so we didn't really lose our minds and get a second dog. But Tasha did have a time trying to keep up with this crazy pup that wandered into our yard. I'm pretty sure she belongs to the neighbor's daughter who was in town for the holidays. And I'm also pretty sure that, two days later, Tasha hasn't caught her breath yet from her impromptu wrestling match. Somebody fetch that dog a bowl of water and an oxygen tank. Evidently, Tasha still has a few moves left in her tank.

Do It Yourself Sandbox

2011-12-30T18:51:00.000-05:00

A few pictures from Christmas Eve. You know that times are hard when daddy makes you build your own Christmas presents.

Naomi VI

2011-12-29T22:26:00.012-05:00

Naomi Janelle turned 4 months old over a week ago... but funny enough, delaying her "birthday blog entry" turned out to be a good thing. Had I written this on time, I would not have had a whole lot to write about since she wasn't doing a whole lot of particularly noteworthy things. Her day was pretty much eat, sleep, smile, cry, repeat cycle. And then... Bam. In ten days, she found her toes, started laughing, became ticklish, tripled her hand-eye coordination (whatever that means) and started rolling over consistently from tummy to back. It's like she got a tutor or something.

Just like her two siblings had at this age, given a couple of fingers to grab a hold of, Naomi has the same propensity to pull up and stand on her feet every chance she gets. It's as if sitting or laying down is suddenly taboo. I'm guessing that she'll be on their same advanced crawl and walk schedule, too (which means it's time to install the baby gates). She is also continuing to transition from being driven by needs (eat, sleep, eat again) to being driven by will and desire. Now that she can independently touch, grab, play, etc.; it's clear that she knows what she does and doesn't want to do at times... and the frustration couldn't be more obvious when she can't reach something in her line of sight. Her sounds also changed. Seemingly overnight, her cooing turned into yelps and yells as she tries to make words and express her excitement. For some reason, that transition was really weird; maybe because it was so sudden. You'd think that I'd have this baby development thing down by now, but I swear it seems totally different every time. It's also obvious from the intent her eyes that she gets the whole communication thing now and, in her mind, the "words" that come out of her mouth are something that we should certainly understand. She'll coo and yelp at you for about 20 seconds, and then give you this look like, "you know what I mean?"

As for stats, she stacks up at 24 inches and 13 pounds (22nd, 31st, and 64th percentiles in length/weight/head; for those keeping score at home). She's still sleeping well. And she's abundantly responsive to stimuli (sounds, lights, etc.). With the way she spins around to meet your voice, you'd think that her head is on a swivel. One thing about being child #3 is that she gets wayyy more stimulus than either of them did. But she seems to be handling it all pretty well (i.e., it's not affecting her sleep or willingness to go to sleep). In all, if I had to summarize her world in just a few words, I'd simply say that she continues to be one super happy baby.

He Said She Said III

2011-12-26T22:38:00.003-05:00

Jasmine
Come here oh-bee-oh. I have to find my oh-bee-oh.
Translation: we have no clue.

When I grow up, I want to be a baseball game.

Translation: baseball game = basketball player

This was after watching daddy huff and puff for 30 minutes in the student-faculty basketball game. Her Lela bought her a basketball hoop for Christmas... so we'll see if that helps her become a better (ahem) baseball game.

Justin
... can be so (a) noncomittal and (b) arbitrary with his thoughts. Here's an example of both in the same conversation:
What's your favorite color? All of them.
What's your favorite letter? D and Y.

Huh?

Sam I Am

2011-12-25T08:00:00.006-05:00

While I wait for the kids to wake up to Christmas morning (can you say twilight zone? Every other day of the year we're begging 'em to sleep until 7) I got to browsing through photos that I never got to post due to a hectic December. One highlight that I came across was our Green Eggs and Ham breakfast 3 weeks ago. This was one of those things that we'd been meaning to do for ages (and actually got beat to the punch by Justin's preschool class) but just never got around to doing. Long story short, I guess you can say it was a success. Justin Alexander, who does not (will not with a mouse, not in a box, not with a fox) eat eggs actually cleaned his plate with a smile. Go figure. And Jasmine Olivia (who has no problem cleaning her plate of any content whatsoever) chose to eat her whole meal with her famous Mr. Potato Head "angry eyes" on display. In all, it was fun. Not sure if there will be an encore appearance for the green eggs and ham; but we can officially put this one in the been there done that category.

Unseasonal

2011-12-25T07:46:00.003-05:00

Wacky weather patterns brought us two 70-degree days this past week; which was more than enough reason to skip nap time and hit the great outdoors. Pump up the bike tires, blow the dust of the handle bars and buckle up the baby. We're going for a spin.

Deja Vu

2011-12-24T02:20:00.004-05:00

Justin & Naomi

NAOMI V

2011-12-08T02:43:00.004-05:00

Pierced. Both mom and baby survived. Naomi forgot about the whole ordeal in about 4 seconds or so. Mom, on the other hand, is still in counseling.

Festivities

2011-11-27T19:57:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving.

NAOMI IV

2011-11-23T01:54:00.009-05:00

Just as BabyCenter.com suggests, at 3-months-old (and 6 days), Naomi Janelle will smile at just about anybody; especially if they look her straight in the eye and talk to her. However, it's also obvious that she's beginning to sort out who's who in her life. Behind mommy, Justin definitely gets the warmest welcome out of the 3 non-milk-providers in the house... which is probably fitting since (even at 3 months) I'm already starting to see a lot of similarities in their personalities. But in the presence of anyone else, she'll search for any of us in a room and moves her arms in excitement or smile when she finds us... Which is reminiscent of yet another similarity between our first and third born children: They both loathe solitude.

In other news, she has also gained control (full control might be a stretch) of her arms and legs; grabbing what she can and pumping her fist and feet like a Jane Fonda fitness video (that's right... I said Jane Fonda... welcome to the 80's). Eating is still sporadic, but her sleep patterns have definitely settled down. I don't know the last time Venesa has slept this well at night. Welcome back, normality. We missed you.

If you talk to her, Naomi will also do what she can to hold her side of the conversation... but she won't say a word with a camera rolling (Can you say, Jasmine at 3 months... and pretty much for her first 2 years of life. The epitome of camera shy). And when placed on her stomach, she'll lift her head and shoulders mountain high, giving her a better view of what's going on around her (Reminds me of Jasmine being too noisy to eat at this month). But rolling over? Evidently that's for the birds. Or maybe she's just saving it so that I'll have something to write about at the 4-month mark.

Passing Through

2011-11-22T02:58:00.010-05:00

The Colliers made us part of their road trip to GA, and Justin and Jasmine were thrilled to see an old friend from Virginia. They also pulled me out of semi-retirement and twisted my arm (just kidding... I offered) to take some family photos with their newest edition. And as I blew the dust off of my shooting techniques, that got me to thinking... Maybe Hartsville could use another family portrait photographer after all. We'll see what happens in the Spring.

With their 3rd photo session, they also broke the tie and officially became my most photographed family. I need to get them t-shirts or something. My official poster children.

The door is always open, guys. It was a pleasure.

Fire Dog

2011-11-22T02:40:00.005-05:00

The things that this dog puts up with...

He Said She Said II

2011-11-22T01:49:00.006-05:00

Jasmine @ 2

I ate my food off

Translation: I ate all of my food

My eye is skipping!

Translation: undetermined

Justin @ 3

My dungay hurts

Translation: dungay = stomach

Justin @ 4

Justin: Where are we going?

Mommy: Someplace fun! With a lot of toys and cool things to do.

Justin: Oh... Are we going to heaven?

Mommy: Not yet.

He Said She Said

2011-11-18T17:52:00.010-05:00

A father/daughter moment that brought new meaning to the words, "brutally honest":

[Daddy and Jasmine driving to pick up a coworker on a Friday morning]

Jasmine: Daddy... where are we going?

Daddy: We're going to pick up one of daddy's friends from work.

Jasmine: But Daddy...

Daddy: Yes, love?

Jasmine: (in a very matter of fact tone of voice...) You don't have any friends.

Man... children are... brutal. I think I just got sucker punched in the gut. I felt like I should've come back with a "yo momma" joke or something. But instead, I took the psychological battle scar and kept it moving. And of course she had to repeat it, just to make sure I heard her correctly. And to remove any ambiguity, for the 2nd time around, she added the fact that, "mommy has friends... but not daddy." SMH... that was cold, homey. And thus was born a new blog category: Kid Quotes.

___________

Venesa keeps a journal of what I call kid quotes. It's a compilation of all of those adorable, hilarious, or sometimes just off-the-wall and blatantly politically incorrect things that our children say. Most of them are either inside jokes, or simply things that only a parent could appreciate or even understand (like mispronunciations that you refuse to correct because it's somehow hilariously adorable when your child butchers the English language). After some thought, I've finally decided to keep a tally of them here as well. My thinking is, (a) who knows where that journal of hers will be in 10 years, and (b) these are the little things that will connect moments to fond memories as we get older and struggle to remember the details of what made this time in our live so enjoyable. One day I'll print and bind this blog of ours (been thinking of doing so for a while now), so I may as well pack in what I can. So I apologize in advance for adding a category that will likely have little to no meaning outside of our home. But hey... it's our blog. Sue me.

Columbia Zoo

2011-11-17T04:54:00.007-05:00

Day trips to visit with fam has been an obvious perk of our South Carolina migration. A couple of weekends ago, we hit the zoo in a belated celebration of Lela's birthday. The kids had a great time, got to spend time with their kinfolk, and everyone was home for bedtime; no worse for wear.

Disney on Ice

2011-11-15T04:31:00.007-05:00

The kids were definitely not as utterly blown away as Justin was when we took him to see Elmo two years ago... but I'd still venture to say that they had a great time. If the show was 2 hours, I'd say that they knew about 30 minutes worth of characters. Mickey's crew, Toy Story, The Incredibles, Aladin and Jasmine come to mind. As for the others... the kids didn't have a clue, and truthfully we didn't know 1/2 of them, either. I'm sure that some of that has to do with us not having cable television. And some of it can be attributed to our firstborn being a boy (plain ol' clueless on all that princess stuff... but working on it). And a lot of it probably has something to do with the age-appropriateness of some the Disney stories (For example, I've never seen Mulan before, but that particular skit seemed a bit out there for preschoolers). However, we did feel a hint of shame when the crowd erupted for Lion King and our kids looked at us like, "um... who's that? and why is everyone asking for hakuna matata? Can I have some?"

With all of that aside (pun alert) it was still a very cool experience. Memorable. Good family fun. And a whole lot cheaper than a trip to Orlando. I'll take it.

Empty

2011-11-14T05:53:00.010-05:00

We got beat by another tenant. There's nothing like driving up to your own rental property and finding it empty with zero notice and (of course) zero rent in hand. The irony is that, as we approached what I believe would've been the end of this particular tenant's 4th year with us, Venesa and I had pretty much resolved not to renew her lease in the Spring. Well, she obviously beat us to the punch (and oh what a sucker punch it was). Our reasons for thinking eviction? While she never missed a payment in those 40+ months (praise God for silver linings), the hundreds of dollars in late fees that she steadily paid (seemingly more often than not) never seemed to outweigh the heartache of wondering when our luck would run out with her. [As an aside, I remember one string of months last year when she paid late fees for so many months in a row, that I honestly forgot how much her rent was really supposed to be]. Renting to her was like playing a hot hand at the poker table: You knew it wouldn't last. It couldn't last. It was all about getting out while you were still ahead. Well... so much for that window of opportunity. Doggone thing slammed shut right on my finger tips.

I could write an entire book on everything that led up to this particular incident, and two more chapters entitled, "Where do we go from here?" But at the end of the day, the only productive thing to do (after some solid prayer) is to pick yourself off the floor and get to work with the development and execution of a well-laid plan. In the meantime, I pray that God continues to honor our obedience to Him and cover our family (financially, emotionally and spiritually) as we navigate this storm.

Doggone Deadbeat Tenants.

Jasmine's Dog

2011-10-31T22:43:00.011-04:00

The words you'll hear at least once a week around our house these days: You cannot play with Tasha for one full day! (and most recently, for a full and unprecedented 3 days). The fact that this has become our best punishment for Jasmine Olivia pretty much says it all. It really does tell the whole story of a love-hate relationship between a girl and her dog. To say that Jasmine can be overly rough with Tasha is to say that water can be a bit wet to the touch. But that understatement is countered by the fact that no one pays Tasha as much attention as Jasmine. And so, Tasha has inevitably learned to take the good with the bad: Agreeing not to eat our second born for neither breakfast, lunch, nor dinner; in exchange for the pounds of love that Jasmine showers her with during the other 1/2 of the day. And just to be sure that Tasha is able to stick to her end of the deal, we'll continue to keep Jasmine on the occasional "Tasha timeout" in order to keep the peace, and also continue to keep Tasha otherwise well fed.

NAOMI III

2011-10-31T22:19:00.008-04:00

Naomi Janelle's 2-month checkup was just a few days after she actually turned 2-months, and so I was not stocked with the baby stats in time for her previous blog entry. But without further ado, here's the tale of the tape. She weighed in a 10 lbs 7 oz (23rd percentile), stretched out at 21.5 inches. and ranked in the 63rd percentile for head circumference. In more practical terms, she's growing well and also sleeping well (yeah baby... keep hitting those 7-hour stretches) and definitely staying awake for longer stretches during the day. The discomfort and bowel issues that I hinted at during her last blog entry have subsided for the most part; and she has therefore continued to maintain her title as easy breezy baby number 3.

Feels Like...

2011-10-24T21:58:00.002-04:00

Home.

God willing, I think we'll be here for a while.

NAOMI II

2011-10-18T05:03:00.007-04:00

2-month Milestones
Inspired by my previous entry about being a delinquent dad, I did peek at the BabyCenter milestones today and Naomi Janelle seems to be trekking along quite nicely. She's been lifting her head since pretty early on, and now is just beginning to light up our world with voluntary smiles and plenty of cooing and conversation. Venesa and I had a debate this afternoon as to if Naomi was supposed to be rolling over yet. Unfortunately, her tummy time has been stifled by the potential of being trampled by two irreverent siblings and a big white dog; in addition to what mommy suspects to be either reflux and / or stomach discomfort. But funny enough, about an hour after that conversation, bam, Naomi rolled over. Now granted, this particular rollover was induced by an extended pre-nap top-of-the-lungs limbs-flailing cry session. And so what daddy calls a milestone, I'm sure mommy calls a fluke. But I'm thinking, hey, why can't it be both? In any event, it will probably be a while before she does it again... but the timing was humorous, nonetheless.

As for other notables, the bathroom scale has her at 10 lbs even. In the blink of an eye, her sleep patterns have gone from predictable to all over the map; and her bowel movements are reminiscent of what we went through with Jasmine Olivia during her first few months of life. We're both hoping that it's just a transition period and not the signs of insanity to come. But like always, only time will tell.

Confessions

2011-10-18T00:19:00.003-04:00

Confessions of a Third-Time Daddy
Okay, so... Naomi turned 2-months-old yesterday... and we have no clue what she is supposed to be doing. I promise you, the gulf between being a first-time parent and having baby number three could not be wider. BabyCenter.com? What is that? Milestones? Huh? Dude, we're just trying to get through the day. Four years ago, I could tell you exactly which Sesame Street character was on Justin's diaper on any given day, plus the day before and two days before that. Now? I can't even tell you what size diaper Naomi is wearing as I type this; much less the brand. And so as I look at the impossibility of providing Naomi with all the wonderful things that Justin got as the first born (e.g., a fully edited video of the first time he did just about ANYTHING) I simply have to come to grips with the fact that this is what our lives have become: FULL TO THE BRIM. Or should I say overfloweth (can I get an amen?). At this point, life is definitely happening faster than I can write about it. And it's most certainly happening faster than I can make a video clip about it (I'm not even sure if I remember how to use iMovie anymore).

As for the inequities amongst our kids... You know, I can't say that I regret that Justin has more baby videos than Netflix, while the two girls basically just have tee-shirts that say, "I'm just happy to be here." Instead, I relish in the fact that we were at least able to capture what little we did. As I watched some of these videos today, I guess I saw them as representing not just Justin himself; but the whole process of our becoming parents... and from there, a family of 5. And in truth, the absence of similar videos for kiddy2 and kiddy3 (see, they don't even have names anymore) is probably the most accurate documentation of what our lives became once we got past one child. Call it proof of love by omission. Or "the inverse blog". I don't know if Jasmine or Naomi are gonna buy that theory once they're old enough to ask about the "missing files"... but as Vinny from Lawng Island says, "Hey... it is what it is."

Coker Farms Fall Festival

2011-10-11T21:33:00.014-04:00

"See our snowy-white fields of cotton, visit a pumpkin patch, mini-corn maze, fall plant and bake sale, historic seed company exhibit, antique tractor show and enjoy free hot dogs, spinning demonstration, and entertainment."

Well... we fell for it. And so there we were: 5 Negros picking cotton in the "snowy-white fields" of South Carolina. And now I'm left to wonder: Did I give my children worthwhile educational experience... or did I just set my peoples back 200 years? SMH ... Welcome to Hartsville. I'z be happy to be here.

Oh, by the way... For what it's worth, Jasmine would've been the best cotton picker on the planet. She got so into it, it was ridiculous (truth be told, she got a little too into it, and made daddy a little uncomfortable). Her work ethic knows no bounds. Her brother on the other hand, would've been the 1st passenger on the underground railroad. Lazy runaway wouldn't pick a lick of cotton. Should've sold him down the river.

Demolition Man

2011-10-09T23:02:00.009-04:00

You wanna see a grown man turn into a 12-year-old boy in 4 seconds flat? Hand him a power tool and get out of the way. Granted, I've done my fair share of home projects (my favorites being the fence installation, shelving project, garage paint job, and the deck project)... but it never occurred to me until now that they've all been constructive in nature. Until now, I didn't know what I was missing. Construction is officially overrated. One bathtub enclosure and 7 or 8 trees later, I can boldly say that all the fun (every ounce of it) is in destruction and mayhem.

There's just something about demolition that is just totally awesome. Who needs a camera for Christmas or a new printer for their birthday? Not me. My list has officially been updated to include a sledge hammer and a stick of dynamite.

Kaboom. Run for your lives.

Daddy Time

2011-10-02T22:35:00.003-04:00

N.A.O.M.I.

2011-09-25T15:01:00.005-04:00

News About Our MunchIn

At her 1-month appointment, Naomi weighed in at 8 lbs 7 oz and stretched out at 19.75 inches. That equates to the 17th, 3rd, and 30th percentiles for weight, length and head. Seventeenth percentile?! At 4 and 2 years old, I don't think that either one of her siblings ever made it to the 17th percentile. Heck, I think Justin might have broke double digits for the first time this year. Yep... Naomi Janelle... our big fat baby. Only in this household with the 17th percentile earn you that title. Hilarious.

Otherwise, things are going well. She's up to about a 6 hour stretch between meals at night, and so our sleep patterns (and hence lives in general) are starting to stabilize some. She's lifting and turning her head like a champ and also starting to make some occasional cooing sounds. In all, I don't know what's more amazing... watching her development, or thinking about how little we remember from Justin's and Jasmine's infant stages. Simply clueless. Thank God for blog entries. Time to browse the archives.

Yes... They're Crazy

2011-09-15T06:04:00.012-04:00

When starting a new job, moving to a new state, buying a house, having a baby, and starting preschool just isn't enough change to make your life interesting... get a dog. Meet Tasha (she came with that name): Our 7-year-old Great Pyrenees stray rescue. Or as mommy calls her, our big stinky dog.

We've been a family of 5 for four weeks... and a family of 5 with a dog for 3. We're not sure how long this experiment is going to last. But as they say at Olive Garden; while she's here, she's family.

Something Screwy

2011-09-14T23:25:00.001-04:00

If you're ever trying to call me and I don't answer my phone, there's pretty good change that I'm somewhere in the house changing a light bulb. New house tally: 103 light bulbs, total. 79 inside. 24 out. And 1 homeowner holding his breath in anticipation of the first power bill.

Milestones XXIX

2011-09-07T20:46:00.008-04:00

Justin's recent milestones have been trumped (and rightfully so) by Naomi's arrival, but alas it's time for him to shine again. This week is officially his 3rd week in preschool! Much to his delight, we marked the occasion with his switch to a booster seat; and things just took off from there.

In truth, it's almost a good thing that I haven't been able to blog about it all because the whole experience has been so amazing to me that I probably could have written a new entry about it every day. But now I'm forced to summarize, which is probably not a bad thing. The bottom line is that he loves it and looks forward to it each day. It turns out that he left home with a pretty good foundation, and so we can't say that he is learning a whole lot with respect to academics. However, the non-academic parts of the experience are shaping him in ways that are just too numerous to name. Justin is our weird combination of free-spirited, introverted yet talkative, reserved yet rambunctious, independent yet needy for attention; and this experience is definitely allowing him to figure out how to combine all of those attributes in a way that works for both him and the world outside of home. Granted, he has been in other multi-kid structured environments away from us; but none that required any magnitude of attentiveness (think "free play") or that had any level of consistency, permanence, or intent to add value to his life.

For the first time in his life, he gets to decide all by himself who will be (and won't be) his friends. That's just one simple thing, but it's little things like that that make this so interesting to me. It's the constant thought process that he now must participate in. There's growth everyday in how he thinks, how he talks about things, how he interacts; and it's all very apparent. I'm sure it'll wear off at some point, but for 3 weeks the highlight of my day has been arriving about 20 minutes before dismissal just to hide behind the big oak tree next to the playground and simply watch him come into his own. To watch the decisions he makes, the way he interacts in our absence, and more than anything else; the simple and pure joy on his face as he runs through the yard. For every other minute in the day, I don't think I see him as anything else but "our son." Just Justin. But for those 20 minutes, he's not just our son, but an individual. A real (little) person, if that makes any sense. And it just tickles me to watch and suddenly think of him so differently. It's hard to explain, but the point is that it makes my day every time.

All along, our thought was that school would be a very temporary thing. In truth, it was never about him at all. The original objective was simply to decrease the kid-count at home from 3 to 2 for a while as Venesa adjusted to all the life changes we've made (new state, new house, new baby). But now... well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. On the first day of school, I was glad simply to not be the parent of one of those kicking and screaming "don't leave me here" kids. But now I'm wondering if the kicking and screaming might come when we tell him that it's time to come back home.

Ribbit

2011-09-07T20:17:00.011-04:00

2:32 am. I'm woken up by violent shakes... "Babe... Wake up... I need your help."

And before I fully come to, 1000 different thoughts flow through my head. House on fire? Nah... she's too calm. Naomi running a fever? That sounds like the right level of urgency. Or maybe there's a bug somewhere. Man, if I see another water bug... But she wouldn't wake me for that... unless it was someplace really crazy... Maybe one of the toilets or sinks are leaking again. Great... more water damage.

After about five more shakes I'm finally awake enough to hear the end of her plea: "Babe.. There's a frog in the pantry. I need you to get it out!"

And all I could think was... WHAT?! You could've given me 1000 more guesses, and I would've never guessed that one. Oh yeaaah... Frogs in the pantry. We're officially country.

Disclaimer 1: The frog in the photo is not the one from the pantry (it's actually not a frog at all... it's a toad... but I digress). The one in the pantry was actually a lot smaller. It almost looked like a tadpole, it was so small. The one in the photo is one of our garage frogs (err... I mean toads). The bottom line is that they're everywhere. Maybe it's time we start naming 'em.

19 Days

2011-09-05T09:58:00.005-04:00

To think that, if things had gone "according to plan"; Venesa would have still been pregnant for the past 3 weeks. The way that she was (or should I say was not) getting around pre-Naomi, I couldn't even imagine her going the full 40 weeks now. But thankfully, here we are: post-delivery and 19 days into life with 3 kids. And somehow it seems like we've been here forever.

Last night, Naomi ate at around 10:30, passed out, and slept until about 4 am. Granted, that's not exactly the norm. However, it's a fair testament to the fact that things have continued to go well with our newest addition to the fam. Besides the occasion request to kiss Naomi, Justin has pretty much gone about his business. Jasmine, however, is ready to open a daycare. And it's not just her intentions. Her level of help has truly been off the charts. She's so quick with a diaper and wipe that you'd think she was wearing a super hero baby changing utility belt (you simply think about changing a diaper and BAM there she is). From lactation consultant to baby shampoo attendant, that girl is on it. In the midst of her strong-willed, independent nature, she totally has continued to demonstrate the heart of a servant. A bit ironic, but a total joy to watch.

Mom and Dad? We're hanging in there, too. We're enjoying all of the extended family that has come and gone. We're also steady getting the house in order, and taking a moment every chance we get to simply enjoy this busy yet unique moment in time.

Baby Stats: As babies typically do, Naomi probably dipped below her birth weight during the first few days by at least about 6 or 7 ounces. But she was back up to 6 lb 12 ounces by her week 2 check-up. Not a single picture I've taken seems to demonstrate just how much smaller she is compared to her brother and sister during their first weeks of life. Funny how much of a difference a couple of pounds can make at this stage. As of now, we can't figure out if she is getting noticeably bigger every day (it sure seems like it) or if we're just a little less awed by her "teeny tiny-ness" everyday as we get used to her. Like most things, I'm willing to bet that it's a little bit of both.

The First Week

2011-08-28T08:35:00.006-04:00

It took three tries, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that we finally got our easy baby! Of course, as soon as I say that, Naomi will turn into the terror of all terrors. But even if that's the case, given our track record for first weeks at home (Justin = hospital re-admittance for dehydration; Jasmine = constipation and a constant fight to feed).. we'll take a full first week of harmony; even if that's all we get. Once we saw that she was latching properly at the hospital, we should've suspected that Miss Naomi Janelle would be our first baby to do everything by the book (eat, sleep, poop, eat sleep, poop... wake time... repeat cycle). It's a beautiful thing. Meanwhile, Thing 1 and Thing 2 took forever to figure out the breast feeding thing, let alone the rest of the equation. But I guess they turned out alright. They just drove us crazy in the process.

Anyhow, the point is that things are well here at home. We're all adjusting to our new norms (and there are plenty of 'em) and Naomi is doing her part in keeping everyone smiling. Bundle of Joy number 3 has been exactly that. As a matter of fact, I think we'll keep her.

Hello World

2011-08-17T14:23:00.012-04:00

Say hello to Naomi Janelle.

13:35. 6 lbs 6 oz. 19 inches. Alert. Inquisitive. And quiet as a church mouse. Mom is well and resting soundly. We are officially a family of 5. Praise God.

Progressive Energy

2011-08-17T12:31:00.002-04:00

12:15 : No back pain. No headache. Feeling pretty good all around. Venesa's okay, too (ha!). 6 to 7 centimeters. We're getting there. Doc is guessing, "about two more hours." Mommy is still asleep. Rest up my love. We'll be pushing in no time.

Hold Still Please

2011-08-17T11:30:00.001-04:00

10:30 : Epidural is a done deal

11:00 : Drugs kick in, and mommy begins to fade. Now that I look at the picture, she looks a little mad about it, actually. But I'm gonna go out on a limb and figure that she approves of the reduced pain levels. After 48 hours, her headache is also beginning to subside. Finally.

11:30 : New IV was put in. Blood was drawn for the umpteenth time. And mommy is still unaware of what planet she's on. Time for me to sneak away for a bite to eat.

Waiting on Baby

2011-08-17T09:50:00.011-04:00

Wednesday

00:00 - 04:20 : Daddy is dead to the world. A pull-out sofa never felt so good before.

04:00 : Let the Pitocin Party begin. We also have a magnesium drip; something new for delivery number 2.

05:00 : 1 cm dilated. Pain medication delivered. Pitocin dosage increased for the second time in an hour. Time to get those contractions a little closer. 2.5 minutes apart.

05:30 : 2 - 4 minutes apart.Crank up the Pitocin.

07:30 : 3 cm

09:00 : Still battling the same headache from Monday. More pain meds. We'll see if it helps.

09:30 : Dr. Daniel breaks the water. Back labor kicks in like adidas. Epidural is on the way.

BellyWatch: 37 weeks

2011-08-17T09:11:00.011-04:00

At 12:00am this morning, mommy was officially 37 weeks pregnant... but let's back up about 10 hours before then.

Tuesday

@ 2pm the 24 hour testing period ended.

@ 3pm Dr. Daniel shared the diagnosis.

The verdict: Preeclampsia

The Cure: Delivery

Projected birthdate: Tomorrow (as in today... Wednesday)

Daddy's Status: Delirious

@ 5pm Mommy moved from her temp room to the Labor & Delivery center.

@ 6pm The cervix softener was given and contractions started almost immediately. That's about when I got a text from mommy stating that I better get back to the hospital if I want to live... or something like that. Kids are cooling at home with Lela, and daddy's on the way.

@ 10pm we have a bit of a scare (well, at least I was scared). With baby girl's heart rate dipping after every contraction, Dr. Daniel starts tossing around the C word; and our nurse is suddenly frantic as she prepares for the possibility of immediate surgery. V stayed cool, but I pretty much almost lost my mind for about the 8th time in 5 days. In the end, they fiddled and tweaked medications and positions, and (voila) we dodged the bullet and stayed on course with the original vaginal birth plan. Exhale.

So, we are back to where we started: Midnight on Tuesday. By now, we've spent exactly 3.5 days in Hartsville as a family, and mommy has spent more time in the hospital than in our new home. On the surface, it's certainly an inauspicious start to our new southern lives, but God has a funny way of making a mockery of our best laid plans; doesn't He? In that regards, we have no complaints. Call it a hunch, but we've got this strange feeling that He knows what He's doing.

On to Wednesday.

BellyWatch: 36 weeks

2011-08-16T21:47:00.011-04:00

I promise, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. And so the story begins...

On Monday morning, we all loaded up to return the moving trucks and meet with our OB for the first time. Busy morning ahead. Little did we know that returning the trucks would be about the last thing to go according to plan over the next 48 hours.

Drama instance numero uno: No kids allowed at the OB's office

Whaaaa? I'm doubtful that Justin ever missed an OB appointment during our pregnancy with Jasmine; and Justin and Jasmine have since become joint fixtures at V's appointments for baby number 3... but here we are... New state. New office. New rules. And most certainly, no kids. So off I go to find a place to stash our kids for 45 minutes in this town that we've been in for less than 2 days while we meet the new obstetrician. All I can say is, thank God for new neighbors and fast friends.

Drama instance numero dos: No Insurance

To say that V had done her homework on transferring her medical records and our insurance coverage from Virginia to SC would be the understatement of the year. But here we stood at the check-in counter listening to the insurance clerk explain that our coverage did not extend to this practice. Mind you, V had been told (on multiple occasions) that there was only ONE DOCTOR in all of Hartsville that took our Virginia insurance. That's exactly where we were... except that he suddenly wasn't seeming very accepting. So, to make a long story short, after I convinced Venesa that she should could NOT jump through the phone and strangle the life out of the insurance representative... we finally got straight (about an hour later) and were cleared to see the doctor.

Numero Tres? Overbooked

Of course, we missed our appointment time. "Can you come back on Thursday?"... Um... no. Hello?! High risk pregnancy. Kids at a one-time sitter. Daddy with only but-so-much time to slip away from work. Not happening. Fast Forward. Fast Forward. Bicker. Plea. Smile. Nod. And we're in to see the doctor.

Cuatro? Where's Mommy?

So much for just going to say hello to the new OB. We finally got through triage, met the doctor, and promptly got the wonderful news that he was keeping Venesa overnight due to high blood pressure (amongst other things). Okay... how did we just go from "we can't see you" to "come back Thursday" ... to "I'm sorry, but we'll have to admit you immediately"?

24 hours of testing. Good grief.

See you later mommy. Oh... and welcome to Hartsville.

To be continued

Officially Southern

2011-08-14T20:08:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the 4am Caravan.

As of Saturday around 1pm, we were officially moved in to our new home in SC. We would've been here about 90 minutes earlier if a certain not-so-bright doctor of mathematics didn't LOCK THE UHAUL KEYS in the truck.

Oh... but no problem right? Just call triple A... oh but wait, AAA can't find a locksmith associated with them near our location because we're in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, NC.

Okay... relax... just call a nonaffiliated locksmith, and AAA will reimburse you up to $100... oh but wait, this MIDDLE OF NOWHERE town in North Carolina happens to be hosting a LOCKSMITH CONVENTION today, and so just about every locksmith who could help is at the convention (I promise... I'm not making this up). The feeling of sipping on that proverbial last straw was getting stronger by the minute, and my sleep deprivation and general fatigue was starting to tilt the sanity meter towards the nervous breakdown category. I guess the hustle and bustle of moving combined with driving 20 hours in the last 36 was slowly catching up with me.

Anyhow, in the end Venesa had enough composure for us both and found a locksmith who got us back on our way. Granted, we're up to our eyeballs in boxes (quite literally, actually) and so it'll be a while before we feel truly settled. But to have the bulk of this move behind us, not to mention being together again (that weekend visitation thing had gotten old really fast) is feeling pretty priceless right now.

Speaking of price: Uhaul truck. BP station. Read it and weep.

And that was less than half a tank.That's just plan monstrous. Here's to keeping receipts for moving expense reimbursements. Cheers.

Edward Coombs

2011-08-11T15:45:00.010-04:00

What I learned from attending his funeral yesterday was that 19-year-old Edward Taylor Coombs was one of the most amazing people that I never got to spend an appreciable amount of time with. He was (and still is) my cousin, and a real-life hero in his own right.

On the way home while listening to NPR, I heard someone say that we can measure the value of our life by the size of the impact that we have on the lives of other people. Eddie, it's now obvious to me that the impact you made, and funny enough continue to make, was as limitless as the love, kindness, and selflessness that you shared with those who had the pleasure of meeting you. I know that it is typically no more than a cliche when we say that someone makes us want to be a better person… but yet I can not find a better way to express how I felt and continue to feel after leaving your service yesterday. I'm inspired beyond words. Inspired to do more. To be more. Connect more. And to simply be better in every way that I possible can. Because the amount of joy that you very clearly and consistently gave to all of those around you speaks to your greatness of character. And for that inspiration, I thank you. Love always.

BellyWatch3: 35 Weeks

2011-08-04T00:46:00.003-04:00

[This entry was absolutely positively stolen from V's sent mail folder]

35 weeks, and yep, I'm still pretty miserable. Things seem to only go from bad to worse with this 3rd BellyWatch. But God's giving me strength to get through each day - really. I've been sleeping in a recliner now for about 5 weeks because getting in and out of bed is excruciatingly painful... but that's getting old, too. I tried the floor the other night, but didn't fair any better there either; and getting in and out of the bed is out of the question with this crazy groin injury. So I'm back on the recliner. Anyway, I went to a few weeks of physical therapy and now I do some of those exercises at home. These things just help minimize the pain, but are not a real fix. But, every little bit helps, of course.

As far as the Gestational Diabetes goes, well although I was able to control my blood sugars with my diet alone during the previous pregnancy, apparently this time that hasn't been enough, so I am on medication twice a day for that. The medication wasn't really improving my blood sugar readings, so I ended up on a new type of meds last week. Still not much difference, but the doctors seem content with my numbers. We'll see. Good news is that I am not stressed about that at all. I just want to do whatever is going to keep me and the baby healthy. The more I address this issue and get things under control, the greater the chance of me not having a super big baby that will result in a c-section. That's really my goal at this point. I would hate to have survived 2 pregnancies naturally and have to get a c-section on the last. And yes, I did say last (smile). Jerome and I both agree that my body is making it crystal clear that my baby making days are over! So, if we add to our family as we talked about before then it will most definitely be through adoption - which is something we've always talked about anyway.

The good news about the pregnancy is that I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I turned 35 weeks yesterday, so I have 4 or 5 weeks to go. Yay! We are almost there. I am really excited about welcoming Baby #3 into the world! Things are falling into place in Hartsville in terms of the house and the new OB, etc., so we continue to have peace about everything even in the midst of my discomfort and pain. The excitement of a new home, new job, new baby has been compensating for all of the prego related set backs. Oh, and I contacted the MOPs person down in Hartsville and got an immediate sense of peace about having a circle of mommies to connect to down there. They sound like a good tight-knit group like the one here in Virginia. I am really excited about that, too. It's comforting to know that I am not going to be alone while Jerome is working.

[The End]

Hartsville

2011-07-25T21:22:00.006-04:00

Life's a little chaotic right now with us in between homes (target close date is Aug 9) but we're making it. My new job has been great so far. Hartsville has been fun to get to know. The kids and V continue to be the models for resiliency despite all the change and pregnancy woes. And the heat has been about 4 notches north of absurd. Welcome to Hartsville.

Moving Day

2011-07-15T08:10:00.011-04:00

I start work on Monday... 2 states away. I don't think it sank in until last night when I packed my last bag and thought, wow, this is pretty much my last day as a Virginia resident. Insane. After 7+ years of employment at the University (of which the last 2 could not have been more trite), I packed up the office (with help from the half pint moving crew), turned in my ID, ripped my name off the door, and sailed off for most likely the last time. Reinvigorated. This should be fun.

The Countdown

2011-07-06T23:46:00.014-04:00

The past few weeks have been about as fast paced and action packed as it gets around here, and unfortunately I didn't have a fighting chance of keeping up with it all on the blog. Father's day came and went without an entry; which is a shame since I was treated to a 3-day celebration that included a baseball game with the whole family. Fam, you guys did great to make me feel appreciated. Thank you, again. Hopefully pictures of our outting will hit the (terribly backlogged) archives sooner than later.

Justin's birthday was also a great time. A Toy Story cake, new Buzz and Woody toys, and a trip to Chuck E Cheese rounded out the occasion. But the most "interesting" part of the past two weeks for him was probably the countless hours that he and Jasmine spent at the University. Mommy only worked outside of the home for two weeks the entire year... but of course that was the same 2 weeks that I had to play co-director for a Math Institute of my own. Justin and Jasmine probably spent enough hours on campus to justify their own paychecks. And all kidding aside, they did great to bear with me and my schedule, and also reminded me yet again of the extent that they're simply good kids. Love 'em. Which brings me to (what was supposed to be) the main subject of this particular post: Mommy and baby #3...

BellyWatch3: 31 Weeks

Sometime over the past 2 weeks, Venesa was officially diagnosed with gestational diabetes again; which means that we're back to a diabetic diet and the incredible joy of counting carbs and pricking fingers throughout the day (oh joy). The excruciating pain that she's endured over the past few weeks (excruciating, that is, whenever she is walking, sitting, standing, breathing, not breathing, etc.) was officially diagnosed as a bilateral groin injury that involves either a strain or tear of one muscle or another. Of course, the injury doesn't have a chance of doing anything besides worsening until after the baby is delivered. But she's in physical therapy for it, nonetheless, with the hope that they will at least make the pain more manageable. She has also traded her side of the bed for the comforts of a recliner that we scored on craigslist about 2 weeks ago; which of course was very reminiscent of what went down during pregnancy two.

So yeah, it's official now: This is has been the pregnancy from hell. Our third biological child, and most likely the last. At some point, you've gotta listen to your body. And this particular baby factory has clearly reached its capacity. As sad as that has been to swallow as our new reality (we really thought we could squeeze out one more), at some point the risks no longer outweigh the rewards. There are just too many kids out there in adoptive or foster programs that could be a blessing to our lives. Going that route has always been on our hearts as a possibility, but suddenly the possibility is coming into clearer focus. But (ahem) one thing at a time. We've got a baby to deliver. 31 weeks down. 9 to go. And the kids and I couldn't love her more for her continued sacrifice and endurance.

Oh... important side note: and this picture was taken on the wrap-around porch of our (soon to be) new home in South Carolina. Wait... did I not mention that we drove down to SC last weekend and accomplished the seemingly impossible task of meeting a realtor, finding and buying a home in 48 hours? :o) Like I said... it's been a crazy few weeks. As for what's ahead: New job in 2 weeks. We close on the new house (two states away) in 5 weeks. And welcome a new baby into our lives in 9. I've got a feeling that we're not going to forget the year 2011 anytime soon.

Summer School

2011-06-27T19:19:00.005-04:00

Mommy is in the midst of a 2-week Math Institute; schooling Virginia teachers on how to better teach geometry (welcome back to the classroom, mommy)... and the rest of the posse couldn't pass up the opportunity to visit her at work and run through the halls. Who would've thought that lockers could be so much fun. I think this is my new favorite picture for the year.

Four Years Old

2011-06-24T14:45:00.004-04:00

Happy birthday to the greatest big brother ever. He's not due for his 4-year-old checkup for another 2 weeks, but here is his unofficial stat line: 30 lbs & 38.5 inches tall.

Underwater

2011-06-24T07:31:00.007-04:00

A few shots from our Aquarium trip 3 weeks ago. These are from the 18 seconds that they pretended to be interested in the animals. The other 2 hours consisted of running, jumping, and pushing buttons (exhibit buttons and daddy's, too).

Drama in the 'burbs

2011-06-23T07:56:00.009-04:00

Just a reminder that crime knows no boundaries. We moved from "the hood" to the burbs... and crime nonetheless has found our doorstep. We woke up this morning around 6 am to a panicked neighbor ringing our doorbell multiple times. I was more annoyed than anything else, but V knew right away that it wasn't good news. I'm not sure if I can really say that our car was broken into since nothing was broken nor stolen, but the insides were certainly ransacked in an attempt to find something. To make sure that a slam didn't wake anyone up during the (attempted) burglary, the car doors were left wide open on each side, leaving our Civic looking like it was about to take off for flight. At least 3 other neighbors woke up to the same thing.

Feeling violated stinks to high heaven. But we definitely dodged the bullet on this one. Of all nights, we also left the garage door up overnight, with plenty of goodies to choose from in there. We had nothing of value in the cabin of the car... but I did have over $3000 in camera equipment in the trunk, as well as Justin's birthday gifts, and a very large box of baby wipes. My second camera, which would have been another $3K grab, was just 2 feet from the garage door. As luck would have it, the thieves neither entered the garage nor popped the trunk. And so, I thankfully only have to imagine how disastrous the ending could have been. All of our baby wipes gone. That would've been devastating. [rimshot]

Thank you, God, because there certainly could have had a different outcome. But instead it was just a reminder to be more vigilant, as well as appreciative of His mercy. That was close. But luckily this ain't horseshoes.

I hope they catch 'em.

Godspeed

2011-06-21T23:55:00.009-04:00

Virginia has been good to me. It has given me a wife, three kids, 7+ years of gainful employment, and some of my most wonderful moments and memories. However, this fall I'll be "taking my talents to" ~~South Beach~~ South Carolina. Yep. We're moving two states south! Yesterday I signed my letter of resignation at the University, and on July 18 I will officially be a state employee of South Carolina. May this be the precipice of greatness and abounding happiness for myself and my family.

Thank you, Virginia, for seven incredible years. And a big thanks to everyone who has loved, encouraged and supported us during our Hampton Roads rendezvous. We love you and we'll miss you. So long, my friend.

BabyWatch3: 27 wks

2011-06-13T01:48:00.006-04:00

Although I wish I could say that I am without any discomforts, I am happy to say that I'm feeling pretty good overall. The last couple of weeks have probably been the best days of the pregnancy so far.

I only have 2 or 3 days per week where something that I eat will leave me feeling a little queazy/nauseous, but most of the time it is mild and doesn't require medication. Migraines are down to around once a week (yippee!). My biggest complaint is that the baby weight is making it difficult to be as mobile as I want to be. Getting up and down from playing on the floor with the kids is a challenge, as is getting in and out of car, etc. In general, I am feel pretty achey, but I'll take achey over feeling nauseous around the clock any day. My energy level is pretty high - although not high enough to give me the motivation to get out the house on these recent 90+ degree days (LOL). Thank God that Daddy is around this summer to give the kids some outdoor activity on days that I can't stand the heat.

__________________

Daddy's Note: In truth this post was written 5 days ago @ 26 wks... which is probably a good thing since mommy is most definitely back on the nausea roller coaster. And judging from her grunts, strains, and the angle of wobble, getting around has seemingly gotten about 3 times tougher in just a week. So sorry, my love. Hang in there, mommy. Do you see that light at the end of the tunnel? It's your OB/GYN's headlamp! We're almost home.

Shenandoah III

2011-06-05T00:07:00.001-04:00

Last weekend, I had a wedding shoot in Charlottesville and ended up with 3 stowaways. Mommy and the clan came along for the ride and we turned my photo trip into a mini family getaway: Justin's 3rd trip to Shenandoah National Park, and Jasmine's first camping trip ever. Two days, one night, a couple of hikes, and a boatload of marshmallows burnt to the core (that would be Jasmine... Justin wouldn't eat a cooked marshmallow in a million years... evidently they look, "too dirty"). In all, we had a great time. Here are a few photos from the trip. Click here for a few more.

BabyGirl

2011-05-26T18:23:00.000-04:00

Rockin the 'fro.

Countryside

2011-05-25T07:56:00.005-04:00

Needless to say, I woke up yesterday morning looking for the fox again. The whole thing has intrigued me to no end. What's funny is that the fox had been "busted" a long time ago. Back in December when Virginia thought it was Vermont and kept dropping snow like it was a ski resort, I found all kind of tracks in the snow. The first thing that I told Venesa was, we've got a fox! But a week later, I saw the neighbor's rolly polly feline moseying through our backyard, and convinced myself that I was wrong about the fox... even though I knew that the snow was far too deep for a cat to make sense. But now I'm feeling like I deserve a new boy scout badge. Like I tell my students, I should've stuck with my first guess [ choice a, fox ] because now it's looking pretty obvious. That fox was probably here way before we were.

It's also obvious now that our new zip code can be classified as country. Days before the fox siting, I had to swerve the riding lawn mower in order to not hit a rabbit. Then the fox. And then, the next day, while looking for the fox; Justin and I made a new friend. Tommy the turtle.

Between the new backyard obstacle course of toys and wildlife encounters, I think it's time to put up a gate and start charging admission. $5 a kid for 2 hours of fun. A dollar off for each additional sibling. Play at your own risk. Oh... and lunch will not be provided.

Summertime III

2011-05-23T07:44:00.009-04:00

Um... Ok... I just saw a fox in the backyard. Ignore the previous two entries. We're giving everything back and moving back to Norfolk. It's been fun, but the wife says it's time to go.

That was crazy... and cool at the same time. I think I'm still dumbfounded. Check back with me in an hour.

Summertime II

2011-05-23T07:01:00.010-04:00

Just call us the hand-me-down family; because if you've got it, we'll take it. Here are two more toys for the backyard collection. We scored the outdoor easel at the same time as the picnic table. It wasn't a hit at first, but it has recently been converted from a chalkboard to the world's smallest clubhouse (you've gotta love their imagination). Since then it has officially been put into the play rotation.

And then the whopper of them all: Venesa has been eyeing the neighbor's two trampolines since we moved in; optimistically figuring that their kids were already too old to take advantage of it. And as of yesterday, one of the trampolines has finally made its way to our backyard (no, she didn't steal it). Until we get a net to go around it, I might need some heart medication for this one (all I see are visions of little casts and broken arms)... but the kids couldn't be happier. How someone can spend 45 minutes just bouncing up and down is beyond me. For me, it would be like, up, down, up, down... cool. I'm done. But then I guess those are the things about being 2 and 3 years old that we simply never get back: Simple pleasures at their best.

Summertime

2011-05-20T22:24:00.010-04:00

The semester is officially over! And consistent outdoor-play-weather has been in effect for a couple of weeks now. Compliments of a coworker, we scored some nice backyard goodies (a cube slide and picnic table) that the kids have fully enjoyed. Couple that with a few cans of play-doe and we, my friend, now have a live-in babysitter. Suddenly I feel like a genius for making the move to Chesapeake... that is, until the swarm of flies, gnats and mosquitoes swoops in. And as I stand there spitting out bugs and swatting flies like a mad man, that genius feeling that I had a second ago starts to evaporate faster than a puddle in Texas heat. It's all a quick reminder that (a) we live way too close to water (hence the bugs), and (b) nothing in life is without its pros and cons. But for now... I'll take it. Pass the play-doe.

Appreciation

2011-05-13T14:18:00.003-04:00

Parental Invasion

2011-05-07T07:26:00.005-04:00

When the twelfth moon of Jupiter aligns just right with the hole in the ozone... watch out! Crazy things happen... like both mother-in-laws converging into town during the same weekend, unplanned. And if Saturn's eighth ring is tilted just right, you might get PopPop, too. The kids were so excited that they didn't know what to do with themselves. And as if their raw energy wasn't enough, leave it to my parents to bring them lollypops that were bigger than their heads. I never knew they made them that big (the lollypops, that is... not their heads). You know a lollypop is too big when you have to put it in the refrigerator in order for your child to finish it tomorrow. That's a lot of lollypop.

Resurrection Sunday

2011-04-30T07:55:00.016-04:00

Last Sunday, I resurrected my tripod and we snapped a few backyard photos of the four of us for the first time in a long time. Mommy also donned (i.e., blew the dust off) her arts and crafts hat as she got creative with how the kids celebrated Easter. I just knew that her crafts were going to be over their heads, but she proved me as wrong as wrong can be. However, in my defense, I didn't know until after the fact that they had been working on the lessons all week in my absence (I've been hoodwinked!). The point is, I was blown away by how much Justin was able to tell me about Jesus's resurrection, His crown of thorns, what happened on the cross, the "stinky wine" they tried to make Him drink, how Judas took money to sell Him out, how the tomb was empty 3 days later, and how the cookies that he baked with mommy were like the resurrection because the tomb was sealed and was later found empty (the cookies rose as they baked and became hollow in the process). The list goes on. I just sat there with my mouth open in total disbelief. You got me, mommy. I am sorry that I doubted your skills. Nice job. The only problem is, now you've raised the bar. Now I'm expecting a full-scale production / broadway play for Christmas this year. Maybe Jasmine can play Jesus again. Good luck.

BabyWatch3: It's a...

2011-04-23T20:12:00.012-04:00

On Wednesday we had V's 20 week check-up, which (as I mentioned 2 entries ago) marked our grand opportunity to find out the baby's gender. What I didn't mention was that, this time around we decided to actually find out... but not on that day. With everyone being sick, and me having a rough workweek, we just weren't ready to give the potential news the amount of excitement that it deserved. Plus, psychologically, I'm not 100% sure we were ready to break our 2-for-2 trend of not finding out (because once you know, you can't "unknow")... but we were close. So instead, we had the nurse write down the baby's gender on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope. Surprisingly, she didn't look at us like we were crazy (though she might have been thinking it). So we took the envelope home, keeping it tucked away in mommy's pocketbook. And there it stayed... taunting her like a little kid with a secret every time she opened it... screaming in silence, "I know something that you don't know"... (not really... but it sounds good)... until this weekend... until we called the kids in the room, handed Justin the envelope, braced ourselves, and sat in giddy suspense until he opened it and read it to us aloud...

It's a.... in the words of Justin, "I dunno".... And he honestly didn't... because although he knew how to spell both "boy" and "girl"; we overlooked that he wouldn't be able to read either word in cursive script (d'oh!). And so he handed the envelope to daddy, and with great joy (and a dash of trepidation) I was able to announce....

(Click on the photo to find out the verdict). So now we can look at the last 20 weeks of this pregnancy and say bring it on... because if nothing else, now we can name this hurricane. But seriously, here's to a fun-filled life as a family of five. This time in our lives is truly something special.

BabyWatch3: 20 Wks II

2011-04-23T14:13:00.007-04:00

Daddy's Turn:

1. What sex do you think the baby is, and why?
I'd bet the house that it's a girl, and here's my reason: Suppose that being pregnant could be equated to a sunny day. Then along those lines, being pregnant with Justin was like a light rain for V; perhaps with an occasional thunderstorm. Being pregnant with Jasmine? Now we're up to hurricane winds and torrential rain. This 3rd pregnancy? Picture a tsunami wrapped in a tornado on the eve of a volcanic eruption. And that was just the first 10 weeks. The earthquakes didn't start until week 11. Landslides were week 15. So with that, I've come up with the theory that carrying a girl is that much more difficult for V than carrying a boy. With the hormones of two women living in one body, I picture chemical warfare of epic proportions going on in V's body right now; which explains everything she has been going through. Like I said, it's just a theory. It's either that, or I have to blame the fact that the pregnancies have gotten progressively more difficult on the reality of us not getting any younger. And if I do that, then hopes of baby #4 are out the window for sure. So I'm sticking with the hormone theory. A girl it is.

2. What do you hope it is, and why? I have four 4 different perspectives on this one.

Angle one is the purely testosterone part of me that says having sons is totally cool. What guy doesn't want his own little crew of knuckleheads to train up in the way of the Jedi. That's just awesome... even though I've got a feeling that Jasmine would handle a light saber better than any of my existing or hypothetical sons would… but that's a different blog entry.

Angle two comes from the part of me that simply says having more girls is scary. I guess it boils down to simply being more fearful of the "raising a teenage girl" experience than the equivalent experience with a boy. I could spend 10 more paragraphs there, but I'll move on.

Angle three involves the different type of bond I have with Justin and Jasmine. I don't know if it's because he's a boy, or because he was the first born; but for some reason I feel as if having another boy would take away more from what I have with him more than having another girl would take away from what I share with Jasmine. I've thought about this multiple times, and don't quite understand it myself; but that's just the feeling I get. Granted, I know that whatever we have, all of these things that we worry about "in theory" will work themselves out. It's not like we have to take love away from the first two children to share it with the third. Love for our kids is somehow more like this bottomless jar that a parent always manages to reach into a pull out enough for everyone… and I get that. But these are the thoughts I have. And these thoughts say girl. And finally…

Angle four: The get along factor. For Justin, I don't think it matters a single bit. But for Jasmine, I think having a little sister would be the greatest thing in the world. Jasmine is just so hardcore sometimes (yes, we secretly call her a thug around the house). She is the consummate tomboy by virtue of having (a) an older brother that loves to thrash and (b) a dad that throws them both around like beanbags. And she loves every minute of it. But I think a little sister would give her the balance that she needs to feed that inner girlie girl that comes out from time to time. She loves babies (she'll change a diaper in a heartbeat… even if the kid is older than she is) and she's an incredible help. And I could just see her bonding with a little sister for life from day one. Given a little brother, on the other hand, she might punt him like a football.

So with that… I've got two "emotional" votes for boy, and two "logical" votes for girl. Take away the labels, and we're tied at two apiece. Which means I'm going the politically correct route and calling it… a tie. What a cop out!

BabyWatch3: 20 Wks

2011-04-22T21:12:00.005-04:00

The halfway mark. I wish I could say that it'll be smooth sailing from here, but things just haven't seemed to let up for my deliciously pregnant wife. As I mentioned earlier, her ever-present pregnancy ailments are currently having a tea party with bronchitis; and the misery-go-round just keeps on spinning. At 20 weeks, we've also come upon the great question that we had to answer twice already concerning the baby's gender: To find out... Or not to find out. As you know, we've played the "not finding out" role twice already; and before we went one way or another with this baby, I asked her two questions about the gender. Here are her answers.

1. What sex do you think the baby is, and why?

Assuming that the patterns we've observed about my pregnancies are correct, it's probably a girl because of how miserable I have been. My pregnancy with Jasmine was considerably more uncomfortable than my pregnancy with Justin (which had its own set of discomforts, some the same, but not nearly as intense). Of course, I could just be more miserable because I am older now and it has nothing to do with the sex of the baby - who knows?! LOL!!

2. What do you hope it is, and why?

For the last several weeks I've been saying that I wanted a boy because I don't know if I could handle another strong-willed, independent girl. However, as of the last week or so, I can honestly say that it doesn't matter. I had to be reminded that God knows best and would not give us more than we could handle - but that's a blog entry all by itself! So, once again, I'll take another healthy baby - boy OR girl. Can I put in an order for an early, but full-term delivery? That would be a request I would not pass up!

__________

Stay tuned to my responses to the same two questions.

Happy Birthday!

2011-04-22T11:56:00.011-04:00

Jasmine Olivia turned two-years-old this week. Unfortunately, my three amigos all chose the same week to have everything from a runny nose to bronchitis (that would be mommy with the bronchitis, btw). Nonetheless, we celebrated with as much fanfare as we could muster, and managed to still have a good time. We started by stealing a page out of Kellan's birthday playbook, and had the kids make their own pizzas for dinner. We got through that, and almost made it through all of the presents; but Jasmine didn't make it to the finish line. She got through the cake, about 2 presents, and then fell asleep in the midst of watching me assemble her doll's new high chair. But that just meant that it would be there for her to play with in the morning... right after her doctor visit and first dose of antibiotics.

Today, we topped off the workweek with her 2-year-old check-up and got the usual bobble-head doll stat line that we get for both of our kids when it comes to percentiles on weight, height, and head circumference (4%, 57%, 85%). Other than that, she's got a clean bill of health. As for our everyone else, mommy seems to be on the way to a speedy recovery after some antibiotics of her own, and I think Justin won't be too far behind her. Just in time for the weekend.

Coney Island

2011-04-19T19:28:00.005-04:00

Welcome to the Photo Booth.

Inseparable

2011-04-12T23:43:00.013-04:00

Jazzy Stones XXI (a week shy of 2 years)

Separation anxiety is the flavor of the day for Jasmine Olivia. It's been at least a month now that her universe has decidedly revolved around mommy. I want mommy. I wanna go with mommy. Sit down with me mommy. Lay down with me, mommy. Where's mommy? Mommy coming? No daddy... I want mommy do it. Help me mommy... you get the picture. Because in Jasmine Olivia's world, there is a fine line between "I want nothing to do with you ever in life"... and "Don't leave me or I'll have a panic attack like you've never seen before"... And evidently, mommy has crossed that line...

for now. Enjoy it while it lasts, mommy. With this little munchkin of ours, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

As for happenings, Jasmine turns 2 years old in less than a week. She's got 8 bottom teeth, 6 top, and 2 top canines that are taking foreeeeeeeeeeeever to finish coming in. They've been at this halfway stage for what seems like months. We'll see what the doctor has to say about that next week. She also stands 34 inches tall and weighs about 22 pounds (sadly just 8 or 9 behind her brother) and still has me baffled at how well she can carry a conversation. You know, at some point I'll stop talking about how insanely advanced her speech and comprehension seem to be for a pre-two-years-old. But evidently, that day is not today, now is it?

One of her favorite phrases of late, is "okay... just a minute"... which his her way of letting you know that she'll do whatever you asked her to do when she's good and ready. Even something as simple as coming across the room... "Come here, Jasmine"... "Um... Okay... Just a Minute"... and then she'll proceed to slowly zig-zag across the room; looking aimlessly around at the ceilings and walls... but glancing at you out of the corner of her eye every so often to make sure you're watching... and (more importantly) waiting... Defiant in everything that she does. Down to the minutia of the most mundane task. That's our little "angel." And somehow we still love her to no end.

Mobilized

2011-04-08T23:23:00.001-04:00

The Last Dance

2011-04-04T21:27:00.009-04:00

... well, hopefully not the last dance... but V and I did wrap up our private dance lessons last week. We had 3 lessons compliments of a Groupon deal that I scored for our anniversary back in December. It was fun while it lasted and, as V likes to point out, it at least guaranteed that we had a date without kids every other week for about a month and a half. I can't say that we're ready for primetime just yet, but I did enjoy sharing in something with her that I know she loves to do but got away from. Now we just have to find a Groupon that'll force us to practice at home before I forget all of my new fancy footwork.

Oh, by the way, check out the 17-week baby bump in full effect. V has officially broken out the maternity gear.

Bacon Makin'

2011-04-02T20:02:00.022-04:00

Evidently this recession knows no bounds, as even 3-year-olds (Justin in particular) have been out of work for months at a time (if only we could figure out a way to get some unemployment checks coming his way). But alas, we got an email from his agency, and Justin was back in the zone.

I've gotta say... this kid loves the spotlight. It was easy to be nonchalant about his experiences when he was doing this at 1 and 2 years old since he probably didn't even get it back then. In fact, chances are, he probably doesn't even remember those first few jobs. But he gets it now. He gets television. He gets that he's pretending. He gets that we're squeezed into a really tight room with 2 other people on the set and about 18 other people watching him. And he so obviously loves it.

They did about 6 or 7 takes... none of which started before 10:15 pm, despite a call time of 3pm... but that's a whole different blog entry... one that would be written with a very disgruntled undertone. Anyhow, the first take was uneventful... but by the third or fourth take, he had obviously gotten too comfortable. "Justin the actor" had left the building, and "Justin the clown" was in full effect. Improvisation and the quest for laughs had begun. And as I watched from behind the camera, I thought... how in the world did an introverted math geek produce such a ham? But then I had a flashback to grades 1 through 5... and there I was, in the back of the room, paying the teacher no mind whatsoever. The consummate class clown. Genetics are a funny thing.

"Rob... that was good... but I want you to deliver that

last line with more emotion next time."

"Good job with the lighting, Teddy. Hey, tell the fam I said hello."

Quote of the day:

Earlier in the day, we prepped Justin for his role and explained to him that he was going to have a pretend mommy and a pretend daddy in the scene with him. On the way to the shoot, he told me in the car, "tell them that if I'm going to have a pretend mommy and pretend daddy, that they're going to need a pretend Jasmine, too."

Silver Lining

2011-03-27T19:53:00.005-04:00

Friday's message from the Dean:

Congratulations! Your requests for tenure and promotion to Associate Professor were approved by the Board of Visitors today. Let me take this opportunity to thank you for your work on behalf of our students and to encourage you to continue your efforts to help our students be more successful.

________

I guess last week a good week, after all. Tenure... Promotion... Department Chair... Hey... two out of three ain't bad! If this was baseball, I'd be a rockstar.

BabyWatch3 | 16 wks

2011-03-24T07:04:00.012-04:00

Baby? What Baby?

No... we haven't forgotten that we're expecting a baby. In truth, there just hasn't been a whole lot to say. Baby number 3 isn't developing any differently than the first two, and we feel like we're pretty much experts on that part now. With that said, however, we do still check out the babycenter.com updates on occasion, not to mention checking out old blog entries to see if we have a grape, banana or a lemon. As for mom... Physically, things are finally starting to change. Still very minimal weight gain (2 pounds?) but her tummy shape is definitely starting to change (become firmer and rise a bit). Emotionally, I think that it was admittedly a bit depressing for her when the 2nd trimester officially hit and the nauseau and other annoying symptoms didn't disappear like they did the first two times around. If anything, the headaches seem to have amplified in strength and frequency. But everyday is still just a tad bit better (well... for the most part... because then she'll have days like today where the misery all comes back 10-fold)... and so I'm thankful that she's been able to do what she can to still maintain her sanity and endure... because lord knows that I'm no help. I learned two pregnancies ago that now is not the time for cliche rally speeches like, hang in there kiddo, you're doing great. Yep, that'll get a frying pan hurled at you in a heartbeat as she screams, "easy for you to say!" at the top of her lungs. Okay... so she didn't scream at me and she didn't throw a frying pan... it was just a small kettle... and the water inside wasn't totally boiling yet... but that's not the point! The point is that we are indeed hanging in there and still in hope that things will get better for my lovely wife sooner than later.

We have our 3rd doctor's appointment today, so we'll see what they have to say about it all.

The Verdict

2011-03-22T12:53:00.002-04:00

He got the swing votes... and then some. And just like that, life moves on.

Anxiety

2011-03-21T13:30:00.020-04:00

Ok... Just shoot me now. While I've been kicking around the idea for the past 6 months or so, I am now officially on the clock: I have 24 hours until I find out if I have been elected Chair of the math department at the University. Ugh, the agony of waiting. I almost blazed a trail in the carpet at work today as I paced back and forth through the office hallways trying to burn off nervous energy. At 1:30pm tomorrow, the cat will be out the bag and I will either be the next department chair, or I'll be in the faculty parking lot throwing tomatoes and slashing tires. Just kidding... I would never throw tomatoes.

Seven random thoughts about this process:

The toughest part of deciding to run was knowing that it would likely spell less time at home with the family in the months to come. That's especially troubling given that baby #3 is on the way. But in truth, we've gotta pay for this lifestyle and desire for a big family and a stay-at-home mom somehow. So, something has to give. At the end of the day, it just means that we will have to do everything we can to make sure that V is properly supported at home in my absence. She's still not sold on the idea of having a helper (nanny?) of some sort come by the house to help on occasion... but we've at least agreed to move forward, knowing that (a) this is probably best for our family, (b) best for my department, and (c) we'll figure out how to make it work like we do everything else.
I feel like I have a really good idea of what good leadership looks like and a million ideas as to how to better guide our department towards being successful. From that perspective I have to admit that I'm very excited about the prospect of this leadership role. With so many things that I want to do, I don't think I'll even know where to start. I suspect that the hardest part of my first six months as Chair would be learning how to pace myself. With that in mind, at some point it hit me that, while it may seem noble on the surface to have declined having my name on the ballot; it would actually have been the selfish thing to do. Accepting a nomination and at least presenting myself as an option for the department is bigger than my personal comfort zone. That's counterintuitive, and it took me a while, but I get that now.
If one thing is for sure, it's that the idea of so much responsibility makes me very nervous. But I like what Pastor said when I talked to him about it 2 weeks ago. In so many words, he said to be more concerned if that nervousness goes away. Absence of that feeling usually means overconfidence in our own abilities in the sense that we may have let ourselves get in the way of God's plan and the pursuit of what is right. Likewise, that may explain why I am usually suspicious of those who seek leadership positions overzealously; as that can be an indication of an agenda that is laced with more personal agenda than team initiative.
Leaders don't always step up to lead "when the timing is right". In fact, I'm willing to guess that most good leaders didn't feel ready for their leadership opportunity when it first presented itself; but rather they simply felt obligated to step up because there was a need to be met. That inability to sit still despite themselves when they know that they could make a difference is ironically what qualified them as a good leader to begin with. This line of thinking is what I've kept in mind over the past 2 weeks in order to propel me to where I am now. Because as uncertain as I feel about whether this is what I want to do; I feel an equal obligation to my colleagues to at least allow them (not me) decide.
If I am elected, that will at least help explain why I have not been able to leave the University over the past 7 years (because Lord knows I've tried). With so many attempts at other employment opportunities falling short over the years (the most recent just 3 weeks ago); V and I have always wondered if my stay here was a "your job here is not done" kind of scenario. I don't know, and I guess I'll never really know... but it sure sounds reasonable.
V is a little worried about how I'll take it if I lose. I forget exactly how she phrased it, but she said something along the lines of how this would be the most significant position that I've ever sought. And so she thinks that the disappointment will be grave. However, I honestly think I'll be cool with it. For one, running against the incumbent automatically makes me the underdog; and that's always an easier position to be in. I also think that my humility will make accepting defeat pretty easy. Besides, I'll be the first to tell you that people have plenty of reasons not to vote for "that young kid that's only been here a handful of years." Take your pick: He's too outspoken, too young, too unsophisticated, inexperienced... did I mention too outspoken? I definitely have a "love him or hate him" working relationship with most of my colleagues. The point is, if I don't win, I suspect I'd be pretty understanding.
On a more positive note, I've been running some numbers in my head... there's 20 faculty members in our department, and since we need a majority vote; the first candidate to get eleven votes wins. As I run down the names in my head, I think I could list 9 faculty members that would be more likely to vote for me than the incumbent. Conversely, I can think of exactly 4 that will almost definitely vote for the incumbent. For those keeping score at home, that leaves 7 undecided votes... Seven people that can really go either way. So here's the positive spin: Of those 7, I only need TWO to win the race to eleven. On the other hand, the incumbent would need all 7 in order to get up to (4+7 equals) eleven. Recap: I need 2. He needs 7...
I like my odds... But before jumping the gun, I'm brought back to reality by two obvious facts: Firstly, the odds of him getting those other seven votes are really not that bad. The truth is, they may not be "swing votes" at all... but they might be more objectively titled as, "seven people more likely to vote for him despite my hope that they'd vote for me instead." Secondly, I'll never forget the story of a friend who ran for a similar position and only got a total of 3 votes despite about 5 people saying, "I voted for you!". My point is that those 9 votes I talked about are anything but a done deal. People are funny. And sometimes you honestly don't know how the chips will truly fall once push comes to shove. The good news is, for us, push will come to shove in exactly 24 hours and the waiting game will be over.

The Mute Button

2011-03-17T06:37:00.006-04:00

A few days ago, Justin lost his voice for about 24 hours. This quick bout with laryngitis was probably a side effect of the cold symptoms that he has been battling, in conjunction with some underlying asthmatic conditions. And like any good parent, we wanted him to make a speedy recovery... well... a good part of us did, anyway. The other part just couldn't help but to sit back... grin... and bask in this beautiful moment. Justin Alexander.... silenced. Even if only momentarily. Nothing short of a miracle. And certainly our guilty pleasure of the month. Because, good Lord, every other day of the year the boy is just... NONSTOP. Show me another kid that talks as much as he does, and I'll show you another set of parents in need of ~~medication~~ a vacation.

Granted, with all of his chatter comes a lot of laughs and cherishable moments for our family. Yet and still, one thing is for sure: In Justin's personal book of friends and foes, silence is clearly the enemy.

Training Wheels

2011-03-08T07:14:00.007-05:00

So I go to Toys R Us to pick up Justin's new bike... I lug it to the cash register, lift it for the cashier to scan... and proceed to give him the evil eye once he rings it up and tells me a price that I know has to be too high (thank God for mental math).

Me: What?! That can't be right.

Cashier: Oh yeah, it's $10 extra for assembly.

Me: But it was already assembled.

Cashier: Exactly. We charge $10 for all of our bikes. Once we get them, we assemble them so that you can ride right out the store with them.

Me: ... Well, then find me one still in the box.

To me, that's a scam. If you charge it on every bike, then put it on the price tag. Besides... Call me cheap. Call me a penny pincher. But there's no way I'm paying $10 for someone to snap 4 pieces of metal together and tighten 3 screws when I've got 2 little elves at home that'll do the job for a handful of cookies and half a banana.

Off to the races.

BabyWatch3 | 13 wks

2011-03-06T11:14:00.003-05:00

Mommy sez:

I have had very mixed feelings during this pregnancy. When I am feeling the symptoms in full effect (nausea, headaches, extreme fatigue, yuckiness) I feel like I never want to be pregnant again! I keep telling Jerome to get ready to adopt the rest of our children and I really do mean that. However, women at work keep telling me to hang in there. They say that the second trimester is better (energy comes back, nausea goes away) and that once the baby is born, the pure joy will make me want another... We'll see. I am taking it one day at a time, but this has to be the longest 3 months of my life!

____

Daddy sez:

Even though she is feeling the same way today, lucky for us, mommy wrote that journal entry while she was pregnant... with Justin. Hang in there mommy. The light at the end of that tunnel may not be a train after all.

BellyWatch3 | 12 Wks

2011-02-25T09:49:00.007-05:00

Mommy & the crew

@ the doctor's office

Nausea, migraines, and fatigue... oh joy. We're almost out of the woods, though. The first trimester is quickly coming to a close. Evidently, every pregnancy goes by about 3 times faster than the last one. I'm guessing that has more to do with our preoccupation with the 2 kids already here than anything else. If Justin & Jasmine don't know anything else, they know how to keep us busy. As for the baby, according to babycenter.com, it's the size of a lime... but already has the heartbeat of a lion (see audio clip). Just as it always does, hearing the baby just made everything 10 times "more real" for us. With V not showing yet (and with zero weight gain so far) it's easy to forget from one moment to the next that we'll be asking for a table of 5 by the end of the year (cRaZy! we just upped our wait time at any restaurant by 15 to 20 minutes). But once you hear that heartbeat, it's like... wow... this is really happening. And it becomes exciting all over again.

Two other things to say about this audio clip...

1. Jasmine was pulling up her shirt because she wanted the doctor to check out the heartbeat in her belly, too. Slow down, Jasmine. It'll be a while.

2. Justin took the picture that accompanies the audio clip. My first reaction when I realized that he snuck in a press of the shutter button was to knock him upside the head... and then I glanced at the photo and thought, hey... that ain't too shabby. I also forgot to give him his props on the last entry. He took the picture of V and I on her birthday, too... He didn't do much to compose it, but he's the one that squeezed the shutter button. That obviously makes me proud for no good reason. It was certainly nothing more than two lucky clicks of the finger... but I still can't wait to get him his own camera for his birthday this year. The boy might need his own blog by then. Showboat.

Birthday Girl

2011-02-20T18:04:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday, Mommy! We love you.

Blown Away

2011-02-19T23:57:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I picked the windiest day in Hampton Roads' history to try to take some backyard pictures of the kids. With 30 mph gusts, we lasted no more than 3 minutes outside (probably closer to 2) before we had to call it quits. There were a couple of wind gusts that I just knew were going to blow Justin and Jasmine down the block. The funny part was, neither one of them knew what to make of the wind either. Justin sounded like a confused scientist, constantly telling me, "It's hot... and it's cold" (referring to how sunny it was... but yet how brutal the wind was at the same time)... and Jasmine just kept saying "I need a hat, daddy!"... over and over again... which I'm guessing was code for, "you're not really keeping us out here for pictures, are you?... I'm freezing... and I'm telling mommy!"

I was just happy to get a few shots in before we headed in. If their demeanors and my schedule permit, we'll try again tomorrow.

Unseasonal

2011-02-15T15:59:00.008-05:00

When the temps hit 70+ in the middle of February, you never know what will happen next. Ladies and gentlemen... I present to you... a rare mommy sighting! After weeks of hibernation, I got Venesa in my sights while we enjoyed the crazy weather yesterday. We broke out the bikes and scooters (which Jasmine missed yet again due to her late nap... which was due to her continued stubbornness during nap time.... but that's a whole different blog entry). The evening weather was also perfect for an outdoor fire. It was cool enough that we could sit outside and chill... but chilly enough that we could also appreciate the warmth from the fire. Overall, a fun evening with the fam.

BellyWatch3 | 10 Wks

2011-02-10T13:43:00.017-05:00

Okay, so... can you still call it morning sickness if it lasts 23 hours a day? The truth is, V's current miserable state has pretty much been par for the course for all 3 pregnancies. The first two times around, the nausea and related symptoms all pretty much turned off like a light switch the second the first trimester ended. So at least she has something to look forward to. 10 weeks down... 3 more week of earl to go. Aside from that, I guess things are okay. Mom's making it. Dad's doing what he can. Justin still wants to name the child Big Bird... or Cookie Monster if it's a girl. And Jasmine is pretty much clueless... but taking classes nonetheless on how to be a good big sister.

As for the baby on the way, here's the big dilemma that I'd like you to share in:

To Jay... or not to Jay... that is the question.

Here's what I mean:

For those who haven't heard, V and I pretty much decided prior to this pregnancy that if we were going to do 3, then we'd most likely shoot for 4. Something about even numbers, and V's no-so-fond memories of being the middle child herself. So with that, it's time to start choosing names. First we have...

Option 1: Go with another J name. Now, I'll be the first to tell you that the J thing seems like it could get old. There are, after all, 25 other letters in the alphabet just waiting to be used. And every now and then, I just think... that's just silly. I mean, if we pulled a J sweep, I'm not really sure how many steps away that would be from pulling a George Foreman (which is universally agreed to be absurd). Exactly where is that blurry line between cute and ridiculous? With two kids, the same letter thing is kinda cute... Justin and Jasmine... nice ring... but at what point is it overkill? Hmmm. Tough one. Which brings us to...

Option 2: Abandon the J-mobile while there's still time and pull a first-letter-switcharoo. The thinking is, if there are two non-jays in the mix, kids 3 & 4 won't seem so much like the odd-men out. It won't be like, Justin, Jasmine... and Bob. Child #3 would have company in his or her non-jay-osity. Justin, Jasmine, Bob, and Betty... (okay, so in case you missed it, we are so not going with Bob and Betty... examples, people. Just examples). Anyhow, here'e the issue: What if we go with option 2 and then we stop at 3 kids for whatever reason? Maybe we run out of money... or better, maybe we run out of time (we're not exactly spring chickens here). The point is, nothing is promised. So then we'd be back to the Justin, Jasmine and Bob show... with Bob feeling like the proverbial oops child who came after we ran out of J names.

Decisions, decisions.

Your thoughts, good fellows?

Without A Trace

2011-02-04T18:20:00.016-05:00

December 3 (just 2 days after she went from crib to daybed) Jasmine gave me a scare for the ages. I almost forgot about this until I came across the photo that I took that night. Here's how it went down...

I woke up at 4am for whatever reason. I raided the fridge. Surfed the web. Got sleepy again and finally headed back to bed. On the way back, I peeked in on the kids. Justin had already completed his nightly migration to our bed, so his bed was empty... But the odd thing is that Jasmine's bed was empty, too. I looked around the room. Nothing. So I went to our room.

Me: Pssst... is Jasmine in here?

V: No...

Me: Did you move her?

V: What are you taking about?

Okay, so in my head, I'm already on the phone with the police. But I'm trying to play it cool so that V doesn't jump through the roof. In that split second, I had already gone through 49 scenarios as to how our second child had gotten abducted. I promise you, that was the scariest .089 seconds of my life.

So I jolt back to reality and finally respond to V with, "nothing... go back to bed"... and I headed back to the kids' room as fast I could without alarming V. I checked the toy room. Back to the bedroom. I scanned the room twice more to figure out where in the world my daughter could be... I was already backing out of the room to finally get V out of bed... and boom. On the 3rd scan, out the corner of my eye, I spotted an arm.

In yet another split second, I went from terror-stricken to a big grin and laughter. How in the world she fell, rolled, and stayed asleep I'll never know. But I do know this much: I've never been so happy that someone fell out of the bed. Incredible.

Detention

2011-02-03T06:13:00.009-05:00

V is back in SC this week taking care of a few items for her dad. A day or two ago, she had the pleasure of joining her nephew at his school for "bring your family to school" day. Here's the text she sent me...

"Vince paid Jasmine & Justin to do his homework"

My reply:
OMG... they look so cute in the classroom!!!

too bad it'll never happen.

lol. priceless.

By the way, I love the look on Jasmine's face. So serious. That's that look of, "We had homework?! Okay... no panic... I'v got 3 minutes. Let me see if I can get this done before class starts." Been there, done that. [flashing back through the memories...] Man, for being a nerd, I was always such a delinquent student! But that's another story for another day.

BellyWatch3 | 8 Weeks

2011-01-28T19:13:00.007-05:00

I guess they don't call it Labor Day for nothing. Come September, we'll be a family of five. Welcome to BellyWatch3.

El Caballo

2011-01-26T00:38:00.002-05:00

Giddy Up Justin!

Promotion Process

2011-01-22T22:46:00.006-05:00

What ever happened to just submitting a resume?

Last week I submitted my portfolio for promotion and tenure... which, yes, included a resume... but also included 3 binders of who-knows-what detailing "everything" I've done at the university over the past 7 years [I can't believe I've been there SEVEN years... I guess this is how life gets away from you, as they say]. Putting that binder together was a beast of a task; only soothed by the fact that I've got the world's greatest proofreader under the same roof with me. Needless to say that not much sleep was had last week. But the application has officially been submitted.

And now... the waiting game begins.

Principal's Office

2011-01-22T22:07:00.010-05:00

So here's the progression:

Church announces the annual consecration period
Announcement is made that the sanctuary will be open for prayer
Email goes out with the scheduled times for corporate prayer
My name is on the list (to my surprise, no less)
I send an email to have my name removed
Word travels (no pun intended)
Pastor calls me the next day to ask about it
20 minute conversation ensues
The fam is invited to his house to fellowship and (of course) continue the conversation [we had a great time, by the way]

And now? ....I'm scheduled for one-on-one meetings with Pastor [once a month for a year] to help me sort through my "agnostic slant" on religion. My first reading assignment: "I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist," by Geisler & Turek. This should be interesting.

Now We're Cookin

2011-01-15T00:24:00.002-05:00

Woody & Buzz

2011-01-10T18:30:00.011-05:00

If you haven't seen Toy Story 3 at least 26 times, and can't quote at least 8 lines from the movie; then you're no friend of Justin's. It's so much fun to watch him grow through his stages. Elmo is so last year. Check your chinese calendar: This is clearly the year of the Toy Story. Toy Story action figures, legos, stickers, towel, DVD, .... how someone can watch the same movie so many doggone times is still simply amazing to me. Anyhow, when mommy saw this dress-up box for boys at a post-Christmas discount, there was no way we could pass it up. We thought about saving it for his birthday, but the truth is; there's not telling what he'll be into 6 months from now (The Cat in the Hat is quickly rising up the popularity chart these days... in truth, Toy Story has had some stiff competition this week). But who's complaining... the quiet time is magnificent. At some point we'll tell him that there's also a Toy Story 1 and 2... but for now we're milking our Toy Story 3 DVD for all it's worth: twice its weight in gold!